Our need to be liked
A common chat-show story told by celebrity A-listers is that, whilst the rest of the world adores them, their own family couldn’t care less about their fame nor their achievements. To a lesser degree, those of us blessed with teenagers can relate.
It works the other way as well. I watched my eldest daughter sing in a concert a few days ago. As she made her entrance, she confidently owned the stage and made the audience laugh with a joke. Who was this complete stranger in front of me? She was nothing like the girl who’d snapped and rolled her eyes that morning, when I asked if she had enough food for lunch. Who was this charming creature, who looked like my girl, beguiling the audience? Then she sang like a professional, and I was even more confused. Whilst the audience cheered and clapped, I sat amongst them with my chin on the floor.
Jesus knew He couldn’t expect the people assembled in His hometown of Nazareth to receive Him the same way that He was received elsewhere. Yet, Jesus read from scripture and taught in the synagogue anyway. He must have been truly brilliant for the people to have reacted as they did.
“They said, “Where did the man get all this? What is this wisdom that has been granted him, and these miracles that are worked through him?” Mark 6:2
They did not see Jesus for who He truly was. They only saw Him as a carpenter and the son of Mary. In the same way, I only get to see a limited version of my daughter. She has a whole life away from the house that is a mystery to me.
In his 2014 book Jesus: A pilgrimage, Fr. James Martin SJ devotes a chapter to Jesus’s rejection in Nazareth. He looks at this narrative from many angles, but one stands out: how Jesus didn’t need the people of Nazareth to approve of him. Martin sums it up: “he didn’t need to be liked.”
Martin discusses how the need to be liked can be paralysing. It stops us from taking risks, expressing ourselves, doing what we want to do, and becoming the people we want to be. When we let go of this need for approval, we can find the freedom to be ourselves.
I pray that, as my daughter listens to the readings at Mass this Sunday, she is witness to the freedom Jesus demonstrates. I want for her what we all want for our children, including Mary: to put fear and the need for approval aside, and find the faith to live a life where they are authentically themselves.
Today's Readings: Ezekiel 2:2-5 Psalm 122 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Mark 6:1-6
Source: Fourteenth Sunday of Ordinary Time
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