Jemma Brunton is not only a leadership coach with deep insights into prayer, but she’s also someone who has walked a long path of spiritual growth and transformation. At the 2024 Prayer Convention, organised by the Catholic Diocese of Christchurch, Jemma shared ten profound lessons she’s learned about prayer over the years. She captivated the audience with her authenticity and wisdom. I had the privilege of sitting down with her on a sunny afternoon in Christchurch to dive deeper into these lessons, and I’m excited to share them with you. 

1. Embrace Your Humanity 

One of the first lessons Jemma has learned is that prayer doesn’t require us to be perfect or angelic. Prayer is about showing up as our true, imperfect selves. She shared a powerful excerpt from Personal Prayer by Fr. Boniface Hicks and Fr. Thomas Acklin, where a monk describes the challenges of prayer: distractions, wandering thoughts, and frustration. For Jemma, reading this was eye-opening. It reminded her that these struggles don’t hinder prayer—they enrich it. Rather than striving for a flawless state, prayer invites us to bring everything, even our frustrations and distractions, before God. Prayer isn’t about escaping our humanity; it’s about encountering God within it. 

2. It’s About Relationship 

Jemma’s second lesson comes from an ancient definition of prayer: “Prayer is keeping company with God.” Over the years, Jemma realised that she had often approached prayer as another item on her to-do list, something to check off rather than a meaningful connection with God. This shift in perspective has been transformative. Prayer, she learned, is about presence, not productivity. It's about simply being with God and allowing the relationship to deepen. Jesus is not a task to complete; He’s a person to be with. 

3. Be Honest 

In her third lesson, Jemma reflects on how God isn’t interested in “polite speeches” in prayer. Prayer should be an honest conversation, free from filters or carefully crafted words. Jemma admits that, for a long time, she felt pressure to make her prayers sound perfect. But over time, she learned that God wants our raw, unfiltered selves. Whether it’s frustration, doubt, or joy, God desires our authenticity. This shift has allowed Jemma to pray more freely and honestly, often letting her thoughts flow naturally without worrying about structure or eloquence. 

4. A Consistent Routine is Powerful 

Jemma's fourth lesson emphasises the importance of consistency in prayer. When she was traveling frequently for work and struggling with discernment, she realised that prayer needed to be a regular practice, not a sporadic one. With the help of her spiritual director, she started a routine: praying before checking her phone every morning. Despite early flights and long commutes, Jemma made time for prayer, even if it meant waking up earlier. Over time, this daily commitment transformed her prayer life, allowing God’s presence to guide her through the day. The practice of consistency has also helped her hear God's voice more clearly, even in the midst of daily challenges. 

5. Love God with Your Unique Personality 

Another important lesson Jemma has learned is the need to love God with her own personality. Inspired by Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, Jemma reflects on how her dominant love language—quality time—shapes the way she connects with God. She expresses her love for God through intentional, uninterrupted time spent in His presence. Jemma has come to understand that others may express love for God in different ways—through acts of service, words of affirmation, or other forms. Embracing her unique approach to loving God has freed her from comparison and allowed her to fully engage in her personal prayer life. 

6. God Speaks to Each of Us in Unique Ways 

Jemma’s sixth lesson is one of the most profound: God speaks to each person in a way that is personal and unique to them. For a long time, Jemma struggled with the idea of hearing God’s voice. She often wondered why others seemed to hear Him so clearly. But over time, she realised that God speaks to her in moments of quiet reflection, whether while walking, listening to podcasts, or during moments of deep thought. She’s learned to embrace her own way of hearing God, understanding that there is no one "right" way to connect with Him. 

7. Prepare for Your Conversation 

In her seventh lesson, Jemma shares the value of preparing for prayer. Just as we might prepare for a meaningful conversation with a friend, she’s learned that preparing ahead of time helps her engage more fully with God. Whether it’s praying about something she’s seen on the news or reflecting on an intention, preparing her heart for prayer allows for deeper connection. Jemma notes that even a small amount of preparation can make a huge difference in how present and engaged she feels during prayer. 

8. It may look Different in Different Seasons 

Prayer, Jemma has learned, can look different depending on the season of life. When she went through a period of exhaustion and health challenges, she relied more on structured prayers from the Church, such as Morning Prayer, to stay grounded. During other times, she might prefer mental prayer or scripture reflection. What matters is adapting her prayer life to meet the needs of each season, allowing her to stay connected to God without the pressure to maintain a rigid routine. 

9. Beware of Spiritual Amnesia 

One of the most eye-opening lessons Jemma has learned is how easy it is to forget God’s presence in our lives. She shares how, after a difficult period, she noticed she had forgotten how God had faithfully provided for her in the past. She learned the importance of tracking God's work in her life through journaling and reflection. This practice helps her remember God’s faithfulness, even during challenging times, and stay open to His ongoing guidance and presence. 

10. Redefine Your Perception of God 

Finally, Jemma’s tenth lesson is about rethinking how we perceive God. For a long time, she viewed God as a critical figure, ready to reprimand her for mistakes. But through prayer and reflection, Jemma has come to understand that God is a loving Father, always ready to embrace her with patience and kindness. This shift has allowed her to approach prayer with a sense of peace, making it easier to listen and discern God’s will without fear or tension. 

Jemma’s lessons on prayer have transformed her spiritual life, offering deep wisdom and practical guidance for anyone seeking to grow in their relationship with God. Whether you’re struggling with distractions in prayer, seeking more consistency, or looking for ways to make your prayers more authentic, Jemma’s journey offers a refreshing perspective. Ultimately, prayer is about relationship, authenticity, and embracing our humanity as we seek to know the God who loves us deeply. You can watch the full interview below.